Stronger Without Social Media: 4 Months Later

What I gained when I finally logged off

But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.

And what if every time you tried to think for yourself, the noise came flooding in?

The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power.

Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.”

George Orwell, 1984

Four months ago, I deleted every social media app from my phone.

No Instagram. No Facebook. No tiktok. No Twitter/X.

And for the first time in over a decade, I felt quiet.

It wasn’t a detox. I did it because I was tired. Tired of waking up reactive. Tired of distraction masquerading as connection. Tired of feeding algorithms with my time and calling it productivity.

This post is about what happened when I stepped away. And why subtraction might be the strongest move you make this year.

Orwell warned us that power wasn’t about brute force. It was about breaking our minds and reshaping them for control.

Today, it isn’t the Party. It’s the feed. The notification. The algorithm.

Watch the full story here:

I Quit Social Media 4 Months Ago. Here’s What I Learned. (YouTube)

What I Thought Social Media Was For

I joined Facebook back when we still poked each other.

It helped me stay connected during my military career. Sometimes from a dusty outpost in Afghanistan, watching friends post from pub gardens and new jobs post uni.

Later, during my 500-day bike trip around the world, social media became something I felt was adding value. I posted updates, built a small following, and felt like I was “sharing the journey.”

But the truth was more complicated.

I was outsourcing my attention.

Scrolling in queues, in bed, on breaks, in the quiet moments under the shade trees in Thailand.

I wasn’t present in my own life. I was always somewhere else - digitally.

The Shift

I didn’t delete the apps overnight. I tried the usual steps:

• App timers (which I always bypassed)

• Weekly screen time guilt-trips

• The promise to “be more mindful”

It wasn’t until I fully deleted my accounts that something inside me started to recalibrate.

At first, it was deeply uncomfortable.

My brain kept searching for the dopamine drip.

I found myself opening Reddit and LinkedIn just to fill the void. Even using my news app to feed my need for an endless scroll. But slowly, the noise gave way to something else: boredom.

And then slowly presence. Creativity. Even peace.

By not being plugged into the thoughts of millions, I’ve had space to think about what I actually believe. To discover my values. Social media does a great job at telling people what to think but not how to think. We need time alone on be to work out what our values and beliefs are. To reflect and ponder.

3 Lessons That Changed My Life

1. Your life is what you give your attention to.

We like to think we’re in control. That we choose what to watch, read, and follow.

But we’re not choosing. We’re being nudged. Shaped. Hijacked.

Every swipe and scroll feeds a machine designed to keep us distracted. Ads arrive like a conveyor belt. Fast, endless, invisible.

And it works: the average person now sees between 6,000 and 10,000 ads every day.

Digital ad spending is climbing. Social media stock prices are soaring.

Because your attention is not just yours, it’s a commodity. What you pay attention to is what shapes your life. And most of us are outsourcing that power without realising it.

Since stepping away, I’ve become fiercely protective of my focus.

Instead of watching hundreds of people I half-know post highlight reels, I call a friend. I write. I train. I try to be creative. Heck, it’s why I’ve started this Substack. To put my words into the world without feeling like I’m restricted.

As David Perell wrote, “Attention is the beginning of devotion.”

2. Social media replaces connection with comparison and conflict.

Sarah Wynn-Williams caused a storm with her book Careless People, a brutal insider account of her time at Facebook. Reading it, I was struck not just by the toxic behaviours of tech leadership, but by a deeper, more unsettling truth: we’ve handed them our attention and with it, our trust.

We believed we were connecting the world, but in doing so, we amplified division, spread misinformation, and prioritized engagement over well-being.” Sarah Wyn-Williams, Careless People.

I don’t miss the likes. I don’t miss the reels, the stories, the short form attack on the senses.

I definitely don’t miss the hours lost to ads, outrage bait, and algorithmically fuelled political tribalism.

Social media platforms aren’t neutral. They’re designed to maximise time-on-platform, even if it means showing teenage girls the exact images that undermine their self-worth, or feeding users the content most likely to inflame their belief

This is the great irony of social media: the more you immerse yourself in it, the more lonely and depressed you become.” Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation

We were told we’d be more connected.

But what we got was engineered comparison, addictive distraction, and the steady erosion of peace.

3. Freedom isn’t having more options. It’s making fewer decisions with more intention.

Social media feels infinite but it narrows your world.

It fragments your focus, fills your mind with noise, and numbs the edges of your life.

I used to carry my phone everywhere. Now I carry a Kindle. I read in queues, waiting rooms, on quiet walks. Books I never would’ve touched before are now reshaping how I think because I finally made space to think at all.

Fewer inputs. Better outcomes.

Winston Churchill once said:

“It is necessary that constancy of mind, persistency of purpose, and the grand simplicity of decision shall guide and rule our conduct in peace as they did in war.”

We may not be deployed on battlefields today, but there is a war being fought. Quietly, invisibly - in our pockets.

We’re not just fighting distraction.

We’re fighting for our attention.

For our beliefs.

For the ability to think clearly in a world designed to make that feel impossible.

The Bronze - Silver - Gold Disconnect Framework

you’re ready to reclaim your attention, you don’t have to go all in at once.

Here’s a tiered approach that lets you scale your disconnection with intention:

• Bronze: Limit the damage.
  Set time limits on your apps. Use built-in screen timers to interrupt mindless scrolling. It’s not foolproof, but it’s a solid starting point and first step to reclaiming your attention.

• Silver: Create friction.
  Delete social media apps from your phone. You can still access them, but only through a browser or desktop. This single step often cuts usage in half.

• Gold: Reclaim your mind.
  Delete the accounts. Download your data, if you need to. Then walk away. This isn’t about disappearing. It’s about choosing where your energy goes.

Before & After: What Changed When I Logged Off

Before:

• I’d scroll in queues, in bed, in any empty moment.

• I started books, finished none. Always checking my phone instead.

• I’d “watch” films while checking email, news, or group chats.

• I felt busy, stimulated… but scattered and strangely empty.

• My attention belonged to apps, not to me.

After:

• I’ve read 35+ books this year and actually remember them.

• I took up woodworking and made things I can touch, not just post.

• I watch full films, phone-free and get lost in the story.

• My mornings are quieter. My thoughts are clearer.

• My attention is back where it belongs - in my own life.

Final Reflection

I still use LinkedIn but only through a browser, and strictly for work.

I still use Strava but only with a small group of friends.

I’m not a monk. I’m not trying to disappear.

What I’ve changed is my relationship with attention.

Like Cal Newport writes in Deep Work, tools aren’t inherently good or bad. What matters is how we choose them:

“The Craftsman Approach to Tool Selection: Identify the core factors that determine success and happiness in your professional and personal life. Adopt a tool only if its positive impacts on these factors substantially outweigh its negative impacts.”

Now I ask:

Does this tool serve my purpose or steal my presence?

I don’t treat my brain like a bin anymore. Something to be filled with whatever’s trending.

We don’t need more people chasing dopamine and chasing metrics. We need people who can slow down long enough to hear their own thoughts. Who build lives of intention in a world addicted to performance.

There’s strength in subtraction.

Not to vanish but to emerge clearer, quieter, and more deliberate.

We need people who resist the pressure to perform and choose instead to be present. People who can sit with boredom until it becomes clarity. People who no longer measure their worth in likes or followers, but in presence, values, and the quiet ripple of how they live.

You don’t need more noise.

You need space.

You need stillness.

You need your attention back.